Introductions: Not necessary, but being done.

Morning, folks.  Name’s Mason Young.

I’m sorta new to this blogging stuff, but Johan Burlap (my mentor and colleague at the SASR headquarters in Throckmorton-on-the-Green in England) says that this is the best way to get out the information we’re compiling to civilians these days.

Personally, I don’t like the Internet.  Never have.  Then again, I know more than most about who created it.  And no, in case you’re wondering, Al Gore had nothing to do with the creation of the ‘Net.  Burlap says the art of the printed word is slowly dying out, and people across the globe are using the Internet more and more to get information.
That’s what we’re about.  Information for humans, designed to save humans from the creatures of the night.

I know a lot about the supernatural.  I send weres, vampires, and zombies regularly back to the abyss of the Great Hereafter.  Learned how to banish demons at age 21, when most people are starting to drink themselves into early liver failure.  I saw my first ghost at age 19 and figured out how to put spirits to rest the year after that.

“Mason,” you might be asking, “why do you have such a chip on your shoulder against vampires, werewolves, and the rest of the supernatural world?”  I got a great reason, morons.  A vampire slaughtered my entire family in front of my eyes when I was 16.  Tied me to a chair in my own home, drained every last drop he could from my mother, father, and sister, then took my right eye before he left as a “souvenir of the glorious occasion.”  Bastard told me he never wanted me to forget what he did to me.

I staked the son of a bitch two weeks later.  It was my first kill.  Been figuring out ways to kill off the supernatural ever since.  As I made my way around the U.S.A., ghosting (pardon the pun) anything that might be a threat to humans, I happened to catch the attention of some very powerful people. I also found out that there’s a lot of conflicting information on the supernatural world.

Enter my friend and colleague, Johan Burlap.  He’s the head researcher of a group called the Society for the Advancement of Supernatural Research (or SASR for short).  Burlap’s also an ordained minister in the Catholic church, which makes him useful to me since he can bless tap water and make it a weapon against the living dead.  He invited me to the SASR’s headquarters in Throckmorton-on-the-Green, England, with the promise of getting to read anything I wanted in the SASR archives.

We hit it off about as well as a working class guy like me and a stuffed shirt academic like Burlap could.  After drinking one night at the local Throckmorton pub (the Hammer and Stake–great porter if you’re ever in the neighborhood), we decided to put our heads together and give the rest of humanity the knowledge we’d acquired.

And that leads us back to this blog, and any written material that comes from it.  Most written works have dedications, so here’s mine:

This blog is dedicated to humanity. Regardless of our differences, we’ve got a common enemy: things that God never intended to walk the face of the earth.  These assholes think it’s “kill or be killed” when it comes to mankind, and we’re taking the fight to their front door.

No more living in fear.  It’s time humans took back the night.

–MY

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About sasrguide

I'm 30. I used to live in New Orleans, Louisiana. A vampire killed my family at age 16 and I've been killing supernatural creatures with the aid of the Society for the Advancement of Supernatural Research's Johan Burlap ever since.
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3 Responses to Introductions: Not necessary, but being done.

  1. sasrguide says:

    Could we do without the language? Let’s keep this civil, please.

  2. Mason Young says:

    That you, Burlap? It better be. I find out you gave one of your SASR research flunkies the login info for this blog and the next pint of ale you get from Jyles at The Hammer and Stake may taste suspiciously like urine.

    Allright. I get it. This is supposed to be one of those “scholarly treatise” things you kept yammering on about one day when I was in the archives and rolled a cigarette with a page from one of your precious demonology books. Fine. I’ll do my best to keep it civil.

    Even though the only time I ever heard “civil” was when I got sued for offing some old lady’s cat in Montana when I was on a case. –MY

  3. sasrguide says:

    Yes, apologies for not initializing my comment, and that lady’s cat wasn’t possessed by anything, it was stuffed by a taxidermist many years earlier. That’s why it looked strange.

    JSB

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